Madonna's banana guy

x	Madonna's banana guy

I'm at Madonna's wedding, which is happening on a large movie set. We're on a wooden stage in a stone church that's missing one of its walls. Camera crews and fancy guests are milling about in the area where the wall should be.

But the most surprising element is what Guy Ritchie, the groom, is wearing. It's a life-size banana peel. It's just about as tall as he is, and you can only see his tuxedo-clad legs sticking out from underneath it. There are no eye holes cut into the peel, so he can't see what's going on.

Even stranger is the condition of the banana skin; it's bruised-looking and discolored at the bottom. You'd have thought they could have sprung for a nice one, but I figure it's some kind of artistic statement.

At some point during the wedding, I'm supposed to be hiding behind Madonna, so nobody can see me. This is difficult, as she's not wearing a big, fluffy dress; she's in a slim green gown. So I have to press up close to her back in order to hide. It smells like strawberry lotion from the Body Shop.